Proto's Giveaway | Kid Culinary Camp 

Obligatory Weekly Pizza Blurb

If you were a tenacious enough reader to wade through last week's facetious* work of creative fiction meant to introduce you to Proto's Pizzeria Napoletana, then you're aware that the chain pizzeria recently opened in BoDo. Maybe, like millions of other Boise residents (which is a real feat in a city of just under 200K), you lined up patiently waiting for your slice of pie. This week, as droves of pizza lovers sojourned to Proto's Boise location from around the globe to pay homage to St. Apieza—patron saint of pie savory and sweet—area law enforcement officers closed down the streets surrounding BoDo, directing traffic to downtown parking garages and lining up pizza lovers along Front Street and up the Connector on-ramp. Singing kumbaya in rounds and passing bottles of organic banana-seaweed juice, some pizza pilgrims waited in line for as long as three days to receive their blessed bread and offer up coin in return for satisfaction.

Alas, yet again our wee metaphorical Pinocchio nose has stretched into a trouble-making proboscis. Allow us to set the record straight, delivering news that's nearly as unbelievable.

In celebration of its grand opening, Proto's Pizzeria Napoletana (drum roll, please) will be offering free pizza and libations too all y'all regular working joes who have and have not already discovered BoDo's only pizza joint. On Saturday, April 22, between the hours of 6 and 11 in the post meridiem, Proto's cordially invites you to their posh pizza digs for some complimentary grinds.

Proto's Pizzeria Napoletana, 345 S. 8th St., 331-1400.

*To my knowledge, the word "facetious" is one of two words in the English language in which all five vowels are contained in alphabetical order. The first person to e-mail me ( the second such word, including a definition, will receive a schwag bag containing a combination of craptastic BW booty, coffee and/or cocktail coupons, the remnants of my lunch and a signed photo of The Bible, courtesy of "The Passion of Dirk" (Boise Weekly, Heck, April 12, 2006). Anyone to add a third word to my list of two (caveat: it must be found in Webster's) garners my lifelong admiration and respect.

Kid-sized Culinary Camp Classes

Have a rugrat or two who you'd like to see off to summer camp and off your nerves for a spell during summer break? If your spawn like to cook and aren't afraid of heading out of state without mommy and daddy, send them to Pali Adventures summer culinary camp in So. Cal. Five one-week sessions and three two-week sessions between June 11 and August 26 are now available for kids who want to don their own white coat and learn how to cook with a five-star chef. One-week culinary summer camp tuition: $1,485. Two-week culinary camp tuition: $2,895. Seven (or 14) days of child-free silence: priceless.

Visit for more information.

Have a Füd News item? E-mail Entertainment Editor Rachael Daigle at

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