Ready and willing 

Dear Minerva,

My long-term significant other is interested in butt stuff, but he's also very concerned with the straight-laced status quo. I have tried to give him some encouraging tips on starting, but he shuts down. Any good ice breaker ideas?

Sincerely,

Ready & Willing

Dear Ready and Willing,

Exploration can be a great thing to do as a couple and as long as you are respecting each other's boundaries, then everything should be smooth sailing. Part of exploration, however, is realizing that some things are fun to talk about, even if you never end up doing them. I think it's great that he's interested in trying new things, and that kind of openness is an indication of a strong relationship. I commend you for being open to exploring as well. Sex and sexuality are a gift and should be maximized. Isn't life full of enough unpleasantness as it is? We should be sexually gratified. We shouldn't be too concerned with the straight-laced status quo in the privacy of our own boudoir. A little back-door action is hardly a new concept in the sexual world. I don't know what kind of couple you are. I don't know who is pitching and who is catching. If it is something he is going to carry guilt and/or shame about, then he's not ready. Be patient with him. Continue exploring the fantasy and do some research on safest practices. With statistics showing 35-40 percent of people trying it, you won't be alone.

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