September 28, 2005 

MORE BLOOD-SUCKING PARASITES THAT HEAL

A couple of weeks back we learned about the comeback of leeches and maggots into modern surgery. This week a British university will begin an experiment that will use worms for allergy treatment. The experiment will test whether hookworms sucking the blood from the guts of allergy sufferers will be able to prime their immune systems so that they no longer react to allergens such grass, cat dander and dust mites. The allergy-fighting effect of the hookworm parasite was first discovered by accident in African patients and now clinical trials will begin to see if the technique can be used effectively in modern medicine. (New Scientist)

CORRECTION: THE WORST DISASTER

Check out the excellent screenshot somebody captured from their television set during the disaster on the Gulf Coast. The shot comes from Sky News in Ireland, which ran a photo of George Bush with the caption "Bush: One of the Worst Disasters to Hit the U.S." Check it out at www.snopes.com.

JUST FOLLOWING IN THE FAMILY BUSINESS

A 55-year-old aboriginal elder in Australia has gotten away with only a four-week jail sentence after hitting a 14-year-old girl with a boomerang and then having anal sex with her. The judge took pity on the man because such actions are permitted under aboriginal law. The elder told the judge that the girl had been promised to him as his future wife and he simply did what dirty old bastards in his culture have always done. (smh.com.au)

ANOTHER MAN IS LIVING OUT YOUR WET DREAM

While the excitement meter on your crumby life continues to hover between“lame”and blah,”the King of Swaziland recently spent some time trying to choose a new wife out of 20,000 bare-breasted teenage girls who danced before him in that country's annual Reed Dance Festival. Poor guy ... Despite attempts to modernize that country's archaic attitudes towards women, the king continues to wield absolute power and the tradition of picking a new wife each year from Swaziland's thousands of virgin girls continues. King Mswati III has taken 14 wives since he came to power in 1986, following in the footsteps of the previous monarch who ended his reign with 70 wives and 400 children. In 2002, the mother of the king's new wife began a lawsuit alleging that the king had kidnapped her daughter, but the court ruled that the king has the right to select wives in the traditional way. Last week the king even took back the one small step toward his culture's enlightenment by abolishing the law against having sex with teenage girls. The king himself initiated the rule in 2001, but has since repeatedly broken his own law and been forced to pay the fine of several cows. (The Guardian UK)

A ROMANTIC NIGHT OF WINE, CANDLES AND BUTT-SNIFFING

Despite the fact that dogs and cats enjoy the luxury of screwing wherever the hell they want, a pet motel has been opened in San Paulo, Brazil. "Pets have needs and they also want some excitement," said the motel's operator, who says he opened the establishment for pet owners who are “concerned for their animal's needs.”The motel rooms are decorated in the same way as love hotels for humans, with satin sheets, ceiling mirrors and lots of cushions. (Ananova)

YOUR PENIS OR YOUR LIFE

Romanian authorities are searching for a man who ran away from the emergency room after doctors told him his penis would have to be amputated.The unidentified 42-year-old man's sorry tale began after losing a drunken bet and placing a metal ring around his penis. After two days of unsuccessfully trying to remove the ring, the man finally took his now misshapen and discolored willy to seek medical attention. The news was not good. The doctors told him that the blood supply to his penis had been cut off for too long and his little friend was now suffering from gangrene. They then informed him that the only medical option was an amputation to stop the necrosis from spreading to the rest of his body. Instead, the man fled the hospital in horror and and hasn't been heard from since. (Darwin Awards)

"I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE" FACT OF THE WEEK

A 1995 study revealed that 91 percent of adults pick their nose regularly, and 8 percent of those people eat their pickings.

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