Speedy Delivery! 

Early January newscasts in the Treasure Valley were stuffed tight as a turducken with reports of criminal malfeasants who simply couldn't bring themselves to take a holiday vacation. Just last Wednesday, 2007's first roving bogeywoman revealed herself as ... a mail-swiping tweaker!

Laurie Lee Rice, 27, of Caldwell was arrested in Star on January 2 after police pulled her over on suspicion of stealing mail from around 50 different victims in Canyon and western Ada counties. When she was arrested, Lee had several dozen pieces of mail in her car, according to new Ada County Sheriff's Office spokesperson Andrea Dearden. In a classic identity theft scheme, Lee would filch the checks and hand them over to another criminal, who washed the signatures off and forged them.

Wow--that's industrious. The image in the author's mind is of Lee's mugshot hard at work, picking up mail all weekend long. That kind of frenzied illegality brings to mind an anti-drug commercial from a few years back, where a strung-out suburbanite desperately scrubs her bathroom floor with a toothbrush, while in the background, a poppy little tune declares: "I don't eat, I can't sleep, but I've got the cleanest house on the street/Meth! Ooh-yeah, meth!"

The resemblance is no coincidence, says Dearden. Lee apparently had drug paraphernalia on her when she was arrested, and admitted to detectives that she was a meth user. On January 3, an Ada County court arraigned Lee on charges of felony grand theft and forgery, along with misdemeanors of failure to appear and probation violation.

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